In Memoriam: Father Paul Keenan

A True Servant Leader

It is with great sadness that I write this post about the passing of a very dear friend, a mentor and a true servant leader. Father Paul Keenan, priest, author, radio host and avid cat lover, passed away yesterday just three days shy of his 62nd birthday. Father Paul was a very kind and gentle soul, honoring his call to lift people from their personal and collective darknesses to shine a bit of light on their path.

His books, his homilies, his articles, and his radio shows all reflected his deep soulfulness. All reflected a life lived in deep contemplation. Whenever we met to catch up on each other’s lives, we both had many irons in the fire, and were delighted to share, cheer one another on and pray for each other’s endeavors. I was equally thrilled when he called me one morning to ask me to be a guest on his radio show on Sirius Satellite Radio. It was another opportunity to share with my dear friend.

Although I had known Father Paul for years, it wasn’t until my own personal loss and the tragedy of September 11, 2001, that we bonded in a very special way. He mentored me during my trials and I was a listening ear during his own losses and grief. The loss of loved ones, pets, and opportunities sealed the bond of our friendship. I realized that it is during the darkest of times, that true friends and true leaders reflect the brightest light. Father Paul’s light was indeed very bright.

I will miss Father Paul, but through memories, I know that he is and will always remain that beacon of light to shine the way through those dark moments. I will always remember the luncheons, the emails, the chats, and the hugs.

Great leaders leave great legacies, and Father Paul has left one with all of his readers, listeners, his congregations, loved ones, and especially with me.

Read Father Paul’s final article on Soulful Living. It is aptly titled Celebration of Life.

You are now among the angels.
Rest in peace, dear friend.

Procrastination is a Four-Letter Word

As an avid procrastinator, I am constantly on the lookout for ways to move through those tasks that seem too big and overwhelming. If I could get paid being a procrastinator, I would be a multi-millionaire! I am extremely good at it; though it is not something I want to be good at.

I don't even like the word ~ procrastination. It too is very big and overwhelming. Okay, I am procrastinating...

Here is tip from author and speaker, Brian Tracy called Slice and Dice The Task.

Why You Procrastinate

A major reason for procrastinating on big, important tasks is that they appear so large and formidable when you first approach them. One technique that you can use to cut a big task down to size is the "Salami slice" method of getting work done. With this method, you lay out the task in detail and then resolve to do just one slice of the job for the time being, like eating a roll of salami, one slice at a time. Or like eating one piece of a frog at a time.

Do One Small Part to Start

Psychologically, you will find it easier to do a single, small piece of a large project than to start on the whole job. Often, once you have started and completed a single part of the job, you will feel like doing just one more "slice." Soon, you will find yourself working through the job one part at a time, and before you know it, the job will be completed.

Just Get Started

Once you start working, you develop a sense of forward momentum and a feeling of accomplishment. You become energized and excited. You feel yourself internally motivated and propelled to keep going until the task is complete.

Action Exercises

Now, here are two actions you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, select one big important task and lay it out in front of you.

Second, select one part of the task and do it immediately.

To lead is to serve,

Coach Carolyn

Leadership and Self-Discipline

Great leaders always have self-discipline. In this day and age, we tend to seek instant gratification instead of self-discipline. In our fast food society, real success takes time and discipline; as it takes time to become a great leader. As General Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “There are no victories at bargain prices.” When it comes to self-discipline, people choose one of two things: Either they choose the pain of discipline, which comes from sacrifice and growth, or they choose the pain of regret, which comes from taking the easy road and missing opportunities. Each person makes the choice.

We must look for two areas of self-discipline in potential leaders. The first is in the area of the emotions. Effective leaders recognize that their emotional reactions are their responsibility. The second area concerns time. Every person on the planet is given the same allotment of minutes in a day. But each person's level of self-discipline dictates how effectively those minutes are used. Disciplined people maximize the use of their time.

From Developing the Leaders Around You by Dr. John Maxwell.

To lead is to serve,
Coach Carolyn

Building Your Courage Muscles

Here is a great article by speaker and author Brian Tracy on developing courage. Enjoy!

Three Rules for Developing Courage

The step-by-step development of courage in yourself is the first responsibility of leadership. The second responsibility is to develop and instill courage in others, your staff, your children, your spouse, and your friends. But you must begin with yourself because you can't give away something that you don't have. You can only encourage others to the degree to which you experience and demonstrate courage yourself. You set the tone and determine the standard.

Control Your Fear

Here's the first rule: "Everyone is afraid." You're afraid, I'm afraid, everyone you meet is afraid in some way, often in many ways. As Mark Twain said, "Courage is not absence of fear; it is control of fear, mastery of fear." The brave person is the person who acts in spite of his or her fear, who faces the fear, feels the fear and moves forward regardless.

Here's the second rule: "Fears diminish and lose their power over you as you confront them and move toward them; conversely, every time you back away from a fear situation, the fear grows and becomes more powerful."

Confront Your Fear

The only way to develop courage is to consciously and continuously make a habit of confronting your fear of treating every fear-inducing situation as a challenge and as an opportunity to become stronger, more resolute.

Do the Thing You Fear

Here's the third rule: "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain." Psychologists call this the process of "systematic desensitization," doing it over and over until it holds no fear for you at all. Many businesspeople who have been so afraid of public speaking that they couldn't lead a silent prayer in a phone booth have used this process of eliminating fear. By going to meeting after meeting of Toastmasters International, speaking and getting feedback each time, they have developed competence and confidence where once they experienced only terror. So can you.

Action Exercises
Here are two ways to apply these rules to develop courage in yourself.

First, confront your fears directly and immediately. Whenever you feel afraid for any reason, do it anyway! You'll be amazed at your success.

Second, do the thing you fear over and over until it has no more power over you. The more you repeat the action, the more courage and confidence you will have.

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Check out Brian's website ~ it is packed with articles, products and services for becoming a more effective leader. Also check out Brian's blog.

To lead is to serve,
Coach Carolyn

Great Leaders Need Great Mentors

All great leaders need a great mentor to guide, share, and be a sounding board. A mentor is someone who has "been there, and done that" and now owns the T-shirt! When approaching someone to mentor you, make sure that person has been through similar experiences and can be a voice of knowledge and wisdom.

A page from one of my mentors, Dr. John Maxwell's book, Developing the Leaders Around You.

When you find someone who can personally mentor you, use these guidelines to help develop a positive mentoring relationship with that person:

1. Ask the right questions. Give thought to the questions you will ask before your time with your mentor. Make the questions strategic for your growth.

2. Don't let ego get in the way of learning.

3. Respect the mentor but don't idolize him/her. Making the mentor an idol removes your critical faculty for adapting a mentor's knowledge and experience to yourself.

4. Put into effect immediately what you are learning.

5. Be disciplined in relating to the mentor. Arrange for ample time, select the subject matter in advance, and do your homework to make sessions profitable.

6. Don't threaten to give up. Let your mentor know that you have made a decision for progress, so your mentor will know it's not a waste of time.

*****

I mentor young women in the spiritual arena and can share my experiences with them. I know we are a great match when their story sounds so much like my own story from the past.

I am able to journey with another woman beginning her journey along the same road. It it not only an honor and a privilege to be a mentor, but it is also a chance to recheck my own journey. I also listen to the mentee's visions and dreams and re-evaluate my own. Then I can check in with my own mentor with fresh, new ideas.

Mentoring has so many rewards -- for both the mentor and the mentee. To be a great leader, one must have a great mentor. So, go out and find a great person to walk with you on the success journey!

To lead is to serve,

Coach Carolyn

Being a Disciplined Leader

“Half of life is luck; the other half is discipline - and that’s the important half, for without discipline you wouldn’t know what to do with luck.” ~ Carl Zuckmeyer

"With self-discipline most anything is possible." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Being a disciplined leader from The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player by Dr. John Maxwell

Discipline is doing what you really don't want to do, so that you can do what you really want to do. It's paying the price in the little things so that you can buy the bigger thing.

Disciplined leaders must possess . . .

1. Disciplined Thinking: You can't get far in life if you don't use your head. If you keep your mind active and regularly take on mental challenges, you will develop the kind of disciplined thinking that will help you with whatever you endeavor to do.

2. Disciplined Emotions: People have just two choices when it comes to their emotions: they can master their emotions or be mastered by them. You shouldn't let your feelings prevent you from doing what you should or drive you to do things you shouldn't.

3. Disciplined Actions: Sharpening your mind and controlling your emotions are important, but they can take you only so far. Action is what separates the winners from the losers. Your actions always reflect your degree of discipline.

To lead is to serve,

Coach Carolyn

Leadership Is Influence

Dr. John Maxwell says, “Leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.” I share this article from the Center of Creative Leadership on power versus influence. Enjoy!

There's a difference between leadership and power. Successful executives know that difference and lead their teams more effectively because of it. Unfortunately, many executives on the rise in an organization forget the leadership skills and contacts that put their careers on track in the first place.

That way, leaders can build their teams and organization in such a way that their assets and liabilities complement each other.

For example, it's one of the myths of effective leadership that power alone can help an executive or a company achieve goals.

A study by the Center for Creative Leadership shows that as executives advance in a company, they begin to blur the lines between leadership, power and influence. They see themselves as more intelligent and capable than those around them in the organization. They see people who agree with them as more capable, intelligent, and ethical than those who might disagree.

The result? Executives get affirmation from a small, expected group, which inflates their idea of how powerful and influential they are among the people who work with them. Their influence becomes constricted, and their leadership erodes. Some people overtly use power to accomplish their goals, says CCL's Pete Hammett, who is also the author of "Unbalanced Influence." He says others become used to having tools of power, such as the ability to dictate and set agendas.

Over time, that access to power distorts an executive's influence in the organization. They may have the title and power, but their disenfranchised team members won't see them as an effective leader. Those with different opinions choose to remain silent. Or they leave. With them, they take away a whole range of ideas.

The CCL and Hammett recommend that executives calibrate their spheres of influence and see whether their team members perceive them as leaders or merely as suits with powerful titles.
Here are three ways to proceed:

No. 1: Find and listen to other voices. A leader should keep in touch with new ideas and fresh perspectives. If all you're hearing is one voice, then invite others to the conversation. And let them know you really want to hear them.

No. 2: Find a sparring partner. Find someone who's comfortable and capable of taking an opposing point of view. That doesn't mean you should seek out every malcontent in an operation. It means you should find someone who is intelligent, thoughtful and open to tackling a discussion from an opposing view. Don't be seen as a leader who refuses to listen to different ideas. Or, worse, one who penalizes people for suggesting them.

No. 3: Leadership can be cultivated, but only in a self-aware person. Sign up for a leadership program. Get some feedback that assesses your leadership style. Make a point to hold a mirror up to your conversations and interactions within your organization. Only by seeing themselves through others' eyes can executives go from someone who holds power to someone who leads.

To lead is to serve,
Coach Carolyn