Love as a Verb

Someone reading this may be thinking, "What's love got to do with leadership?" Love has everything to do with leadership. Without love, leadership is nothing!

In the English language, we generally associate love with a feeling, and usually positive feelings. And, in the English language, there is only one word to encompass that feeling: the word LOVE. Unlike in the Greek language, there are different words to explain the different types of love.

What do we mean when we say love as a verb? A verb is an action word. So love is an action word. Love is something we do, not merely a feeling. When we take the action to love, then the feeling will come.

The Greek language has different words for the different types of love. There is eros: a love which seeks fulfillment or satisfaction in the person or thing that is loved. There is also philia: a love of friendship or companionship.

The Christian Scriptures speaks of a love called agapé: a love which seeks nothing from the person or thing that is loved – the lover wants nothing in return; not even appreciation. The love is totally other-directed; pure gift of the self to the other.

One of the early Church Father, Saint Thomas Aquinas said that “love is the effective willing of the good of the other.” Love is not an emotion, it is not a feeling – love is a choice, it is an act of the will; it is something that we do. Love is not something that happens to us, it is something that we do; it is a choice that we make.

What are we choosing? We are choosing the good of the other. Not our good, first and foremost, but the good of the other. The love is centered on the person or thing that is loved. What is the best for the other? Not simply benevolence – but wanting the best for the other and acting to make that real for them. Love is choosing to do the best for the other person and then acting in accord with that choice.

To lead is to serve,

Coach Carolyn

Leadership Maxim #1 -- Leadership Begins with You

Everyone is a leader of someone because everyone has the opportunity to influence another person. Think about the people you come in contact with on a daily basis. Think about those people who were kind, who offered a smile or a hand, who went out of their way to make you feel valued. Now think about those who were perhaps rude, abrupt, never offering a smile or a kind word. Now who made the greatest impact on your life? Who would you go out of your way for the next time?

Everyone influences someone. It is how we influence that makes all the difference. We must start with how we ourselves want to be treated. Leadership must always begin with ourselves. Of course the person who values us, who smiles freely, and offers assistance is the person we would place a higher value on in terms of influence. So, are we like that person? Do we value others? Are we loving the other?

When we speak of love and leadership, we are not talking about "love the feeling", but about love as a verb. Leadership has nothing to do with how one feels. It has to do with how one behaves toward the other.

The old saying still rings true today, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." When we learn to effectively lead ourselves first, then and only then, can we effectively lead others.

To lead is to serve,
Coach Carolyn